we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
