Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
