you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
How does one acquire holy water?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
