Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
