you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Just pee around me
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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