Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
birth control should be required to get into college
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
