Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
