Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
No stitches, just platelets and will power
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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