it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
