I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
