dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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