he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
