toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
