No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
