why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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