We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
