i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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