T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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