garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
