He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
