why didn't you poke me back
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
