I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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