i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Randomize
