girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
