i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
