hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
