so that wasnt chicken after all
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
