I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
