he was CRYING into my vagina
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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