kristin has been a bad kristin
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
