I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
My cat gives me a boner
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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