you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Congratulations! We have a period
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