It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
