Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Randomize
