She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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