How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
i black out too much to be "responsible"
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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