I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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