hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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