So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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