Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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