sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
