No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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