i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Randomize
