i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
