I want to stick my p in your. b.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
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