It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize