so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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