IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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