The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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