when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
