We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
