Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
