I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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