I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
